"Aargh!! Frustation and Homework!!"

January 12, 2006 - Thursday

Aargh!!!!! Everyday, I have the same routine over and over again.. Yes, the same!!

Everyday its school, homework, tuition, homework, school, homework, tuition, homework...............................

I mean, is it right to give us ample amount of homework just because this year (form3-PMR) we have major exams?? I dont think so...!! And its as if this exam will bring us to university, its the form 5 one, SPM.. Now, thats what I call MAJOR...

Friday is always the busiest day for me.. The worst day of the week!! Why? I'll tell you why!!

6.30am-get ready for school

12.45pm-reach home and rush to bathe and eat lunch in 45mins

2.00pm-at science tuition

4.00pm-from science tuition straight to english tuition

6.00pm-come home, eat dinner, prepare for bm tuition

10.00pm-come back from tuition, do homework, sleep

Now, do you get it???!!! I have THREE tuitions!!! THREE!!!!! Its sick I tell you.. Sick!!! And I cant even get to watch TV or surf the net..!


Anger, frustration, lack of sleep, tuition, tuition, tuition, homework, homework, homework...!!!!! NOOOO!!!

Some days, I have huge bags under my eyes too..

I need more sleep!!

Too frustrated to type anymore, Justine.

Dedicated to G.E.H., who somehow gets a kick out of reading these humiliating past writings.


"My mom's Birthday!!"

January 10, 2006 - Tuesday

It's my mom's birthday today!! Can you guess how many years old she is?? Nah, I bet you can't.. Well, she's 51.. I know she's a bit old but she is young at heart.. The way she dresses, she has a better sense of fashion than me.. That I must admit.. So anyway, she's a great mom.. A very GREAT one!!

I felt really guilty cos I didnt get her a present yet, but it's no biggie.. I'll let her choose what she really wants and then I'll pay for it.. I know, I'm mean and I shouldn't do that.. But I really had no time to go shop for her cos we were at home all the time.. OK, I'm kidding.. But where we went, there was nothing unique or special, so I couldn't get anything special for her..

I got her a pair of earrings for christmas though!! And its not even close to cheap, it costs 50 dollars..!!

Gotta go, bubbye!!

Lots of sharing, Justine.

Again, some throwing up involved in the making of this post.



Because I am way less interesting now than I was then, I shall post entries I had posted online when I was 14. Past Justine loved complaining just as much as I do now, though she was a little bit more pleasant and sweet. Huh. The following is the description to the online diary I had for about a week when I was fourteen, in all its smiley-faced and typo-filled glory:

Hey, my name is Justine. I just turnad 14 last September.. Started school a week ago.. Life in school was terrible! We(me and my fellow classmates) were given so much homework.. I don't think we are going to survive if this goes on, I mean, everyday we have to read, write, count, and even memorise facts!! Is that normal?? NO! Its torture, that's what it is!!

Okie dokie, gotta pen off now, cya!

Cheers, Justine..

I may have thrown up a little. Next up: First post in this mad diary.


Visa-ed and Bespectacled

Yesterday, I made a very bad move by accidentally napping for four hours straight. After picking my mother up from the airport at night, I was so wide awake despite my urgent need to get sufficient sleep for my Visa interview the next day (today). The same can be said for my brother. The both of us were up 'til about 4AM and had to wake up at 5.30AM this morning to head to the U.S. Embassy in the city. I spent the entire night willing myself to sleep -but to no avail- and trying not to fall off the chair with a smile on my face as I gazed at this:

My eyes water...with joy and pride.

This morning came five minutes -or what seemed like five minutes- after we finally dozed off and we left the house with barely enough sleep. At the embassy, we were terribly amused to find that security was madly tight. A butterfly probably ain't allowed to fly into the premises without going through two security checks first for fear that it may be carrying ammunition under its wings. Then, we were terribly unamused to find that the waiting process for the interview is probably one of the most boring and somniferous waits we have ever experienced -mainly because we needed sleep, and our cell phones were kept away with security. And my brother ran out of 'Knock Knock' and 'Yo Mama' jokes.

To cut the very long rant short, we both eventually walked out of there around noon time with approved Visas. Praise God, truly! I was feeling so frantic for my brother for so many reasons but God's grace was upon us. We are glad. And immensely relieved.

Post-U.S. Embassy, we went for lunch and met up with our mother so she could take us to get our eyesight checked. I, for one, was not looking forward to it. After many weeks of being in denial, the half-truth eventually was brought to light today and I am going to be bespectacled very soon. But the glasses would only be used for reading, driving and laptop-related purposes. Still. I plan to not wear them at all...though I don't know how long my spectacles strike can last. It is a truth I cannot accept. Yet. Woe is me. My brother, on the hand, has perfect vision despite using two laptops simultaneously every minute of every day for years. I reckon the books have betrayed me.

On a less depressing note, my cousin sister will be here in a few hours for the weekend getaway with my family. Good times await!



Today, I:-

a) was out for 12 hours with my awesome cousin sister.
b) watched a mind-wrestling movie which made me question my current reality...for about two seconds.
c) had a frog from out of nowhere hop onto my toe for a nanosecond. Aiiee!
d) drove right into a curb -no thanks to my increasingly alarming night blindness- and panicked all the way until I parked at the petrol station to look at the damage which resulted from the ear-splitting BANG!
e) had my second minor accident in just two months.
f) shifted the gear into 'D' right after my cousin sister reminded me to shift it to 'R'; and then shifted it to 'P' so that we could laugh (at my epic stupidity) until our sides ached.
g) semi-accepted the fact that my eyes really need to be checked.
h) realized that it is not always best being alone in the car -like I had always dreamed it would be. Because it is certainly better to have a calm and optimistic person in the car preventing you from breathing into a paper bag at the moment of impact.
i) ate a wonderfully-Malaysian burger...which was unhealthy on so many levels but since I was/am already living...
j) thanked God for family.


Bon Day

Today was an exhaustingly fun day. Exhausting because I drove a lot, got stuck in the jam a lot, walked a lot and sighed a lot. But fun because I got to spend it with a dear high school friend I hadn't met in eons, got to attend the annual Bon Odori Japanese festival for the first time, got to participate in the cultural dance which I got a huge kick out of but wherein I made a happy fool of myself, got to savor exquisite Japanese food and got to laugh and smile a ton. What I had thought would be a very gloomy day turned out to be an incredible one in which I had the time of my life -just with a word of prayer. I am in awe of God's abounding love.

In other news, I seem to be mentally and emotionally refreshed every day but physically tired no thanks to the strenuous activity I have been doing lately, which is watching movies back-to-back on my laptop. Oy. Also, the painfully awful need for me to drive at 10km/h on the highway earlier tonight because of the insane jam has made me spent. But not completely because I could still stay up for a movie. Now I'm completely spent.

Over and out.


Why I Should (Not) be a Class Valedictorian

In points.
Point 1: My 1400-word speech ('Why I Should be a Class Valedictorian') was written in under an hour...and under great stress. It is not a title I want to be associated with. At all.

Point 2: My 1400-word speech was memorized in my sleep.

Point 3: My 1400-word speech was so ridiculously ridiculous that I saved it as 'ohplease.doc' on my laptop. Befitting.

Point 4: I planned to wear a pair of jeans and a T-shirt to the interview.

Point 5: I wore a skirt, a blouse and a pair of slippers in the end -after a bit of persuading from a friend. Though wearing the slippers had been my (smart) choice.

Point 6: The other three candidates who went for the interview were in formal wear from head to toe, complemented with sleek jackets.

Point 7: I had green streaks of hair -which they pointed out immediately, no thanks to the fact that I was standing perpendicular to the window where the sunlight brilliantly shone through.

Point 8: I had "no positions of leadership".

Point 9: I was a nervous wreck and slurred my entire speech.

Point 10: I had "a lot of self-doubt and why is that so?" Oops.

Point 11: A good friend read my speech and told me straightforwardly that my speech was "too humble" though I wholeheartedly disagree! Psh.

Point 12: There are already eleven points.
In my attempt to be more optimistic -I can see that I am very much succeeding at that- there were actually many parts about the interview which made it, much to my disbelief, fun. The panel of interviewers had been five Heads of Departments, three of whom were my lecturers, and two college counselors I had been bugging all of last semester. The Q&A session was surprisingly very casual and I answered each question lightheartedly and without much care. All of them had a question for me and I replied as honestly and coherently as I could. It was a pretty rewarding experience and although it is quite certain that my fear of speaking in public can rest for a while now, I have no regrets going for the interview and saying what I had to say. Besides, God gave me peace and comfort in that formidable room. And that felt pretty flippin' great.

P/S: I appreciated the moral support, rapid-fire advice and 'lucky' Oreo chocolate blend a dear friend thoughtfully gave me. I smile as I type this, but I refuse to type a smiley face...because this blog would be too weirded out if I did. But I am smiling!



The very word itself brings me great comfort. Familiarity, to me, is waking up on the same bed surrounded by the same things in the same room of the same house with the very same people at the same street every single day for years. Familiarity, to me, is lolling in the same position on the same sofa in front of the same TV. Familiarity, to me, is reflexively gazing at the same angle and spotting just the same things at the same corners in the same home. Familiarity, to me, is punching in the same password on the same alarm and securing the same padlocks in the same manner on the same grilled door before leaving the house. Familiarity, to me, is walking to the same kitchen via the same hallway with food on the same table almost everyday...or maybe this is just laziness. Familiarity, to me, is living two minutes away from the same mamak food stalls, four minutes away from the same high school and six minutes away from the same good friends. Familiarity, to me, has been my last nineteen years on Earth.

It is quite a sad prospect to know that the familiarity which has been a part of me for the longest time will be stripped away soon. One more month of it will not suffice. I am already beginning to tear myself away from the galactically vast amount of things in my room which I cannot bring along with me. I am slowly detaching myself from the daily rituals I always perform thoughtlessly. And I am trying to brace myself for change.

'Change' is a word which brings me great discomfort. Change, to me, is having to first accept and then get used to an impossibly large number of new things: people, environment, lifestyle -the foundations of life itself. Change, to me, is being shoved out of the dearly loved comfort zone into an entirely new world of unfamiliarity and endless uncertainties. Change, to me, is waking up on a lovely day and realizing that you are no longer in the same circumstances and cannot share it with the same people anymore. Change, to me, is what I always look forward to but know without a doubt that I can crumble from at the drop of a hat. Change, to me, is another definition of fear.

So am I afraid of change? Like. A. Plucked. Chicken.

Truth be told, I am more afraid of change than I actually am of leaving. It's funny because I was never one who feared change. Or at least, I thought I was. It wasn't until college began that I learned something unfortunate about myself: I don't deal well with change. At all. A little over a month into college, 'change' thankfully morphed into 'familiarity' and I found comfort on so many levels with all things college. I am expecting the transition from college to university to be doubly harder than the one from high school to college -for many glaring and subtle reasons. But as afraid as I am, I will plunge ahead knowing with every fiber of my being that as unfamiliar as things may get, I have a very familiar God with me. And that is the one greatest thing about familiarity which I can always carry with me.

Self-pitiness aside, my brother and I have been busying ourselves by doing the necessary preparation for the States; me for education purposes and my brother for travel purposes. I also seem to be very cranky, impatient and irritable lately. Not that I haven't been cranky, impatient and irritable all my life. Oy. All this non-academic stress isn't boding too well with me.

Feels good to rant lengthily. It has been a while. I would rant further if I didn't have to get back to my to-do list. But I ain't kvetching. It is a privilege! I know that now. God is forever in control.

Commit your work to the LORD, and then your plans will succeed. -Proverbs 16:3


Plans Abound

Since the last time I blogged, I have go-karted, scoured certain parts of KL city, had delicious nuggets, taken the cable car, chatted with my mother online, filled up many forms, mourned over the death of my completely soaked phone which turned out to be temporary, rejoiced over its sheer power to still function as per normal despite being underwater for more than five minutes, made plans, stressed out, made more plans, stressed out even more, surrendered.

Exactly a month away from bidding goodbye to Malaysia and greeting the United States hello.



Today, I attended my brother's graduation at a fancy hotel in the heart of the city. I am proud of that dude. We also took a family portrait by a professional photographer with the famous bookshelf background. Today was mentally tiring. Goodnight.

The proud Yeo family.



Today started off terribly and ended splendidly. I had many plans for the day and kick-started it by driving to college to meet the counselor so that my many questions can be answered. After that was done, I dejectedly walked to the church office two blocks away to inform the pastors that my internship is now a no-go based on the many answers I received earlier from the counselor. Unfortunately, Monday was their day off. So I left a message.

Thirty minutes had barely passed since I arrived in college when I walked back to the car and saw a piece of white paper gloriously flapping on my windshield; it was a parking fine. I freaked out momentarily before I made several calls which further freaked me out. Because driving alone to an unknown place to pay the fine was definitely not part of the plan. After a few assuring words from a few awesome people, I decided to pay the fine later this week. End of Worry #1.

Worry #2 began when I realized I didn't know how to get to my cousin sister's place from college. With my brilliantly clueless driving, I ended up on the opposite side of the highway. Lovely. After edging closer and closer to my home, I finally managed to take the U-turn to get to the correct side of the highway. It was not fun. At all.

The plan resumed when my cousin sister and I arrived in the city in gleeful anticipation of the mini-trip to Petrosains; something we've been aiming to do since The Cousin List was conjured. Our hopes were mercilessly dashed, bludgeoned, smashed and obliterated when we discovered that the entrance looked deserted not because it was a weekday, but because it was closed on Mondays. Picture us stomping our feet and ripping our hair out here. Mentally. It was a devastating moment.

After thirty seconds of sadness, we consulted The Cousin List and zoomed to another mall with renewed hope. This time, we were not disappointed. We did some really precious things together and I had an awesome time with my very awesome cousin sister. She rocks big-time...even though she forced me to down a piece of sashimi for the first time today. I can't wait to cancel off more items on the list with her in the remaining weeks!

Tomorrow: Brother's graduation. Interesting.

P/S: Something is going on right now...and as much as I don't want to admit this, I am so afraid of what's to come. But God told my family and me not to worry about tomorrow. So we won't.


The Week

This week has been filled with some of the best things in life: birthdays, Internet-deprivation, mall-hopping, high school friends, college friends, cousins, cheap books, movies, a theme park, prawn crackers, a fantastic new song by The Artist, good times, first times, family and a loving God.

And then some of the worst. But more of the best.

What. A. Week.