Fourth episode of The You-don't-need-to-know Weekly News:

Monday: Drove to college for the first time all on my own. Felt victorious the entire day until the live video streaming of the launch of Space Shuttle Endeavour jammed on the laptop I was using right before take-off. I weep in silence.

Tuesday: Drove to college with my friend riding shotgun. Had a bit of a breakdown at night and an absolute teenage moment when I seriously and truly thought that my life was going to be over. I seem to be doing this a lot lately. Very uncool.

Wednesday: Drove to college on my own again. Had my second tutoring session and the turnout (6 students) was a far cry from my first session (1 student). They had just received their test papers back that day and the results were pretty unsettling. After looking at the test questions, I became immensely grateful that I wasn't actually taking the course. I mean, the questions were t-u-p-h. During my tutoring session, they had asked me to focus on linear inequalities and so we worked on that alone for the whole hour. Ten minutes into the session, I became as confused as they were and I think all of them could see it. Again, uncool. And unprofessional. Oy.

At night, I went for dinner with two awesome high school friends since one of them was about to leave the country very soon. During dinner, I decided to check my email and received great news from one of the universities I had applied to: University of Nebraska-Lincoln. God is good...but I still don't know what His plan is for me. Colorado had been my first choice and Nebraska had been my back-up plan. The first choice replied me before my back-up had...and I was 90% set on heading to Colorado, but never 100%. I found out a few days later why the 10% was bugging me.

Thursday: Left college after my last class at 11AM. Shortly after I got home, I left to pick up my best friend and we both went to our high school to bid goodbye to some teachers. Unfortunately, the teachers we had wanted to meet weren't there and we only got to talk to one teacher before we left. After that, we went for lunch at the mall and a friend met up with us there since her class was canceled. And after that, we bought tickets for a night movie and went our separate ways; waiting for night to come. It was a great day spent with great friends, great food and a great movie.

Friday: Drove to college on my own for the fourth time all week. My brother arrived back in the country. Tried to squash the very strong urge to steal the insanely adorable robotic plushie my brother got for my six-month-old baby cousin brother. Watched three movies; with the last one nearly giving me a cardiac arrest as I watched it alone in the dead of the night to keep myself awake. I couldn't even sit still as I flailed and jumped around like a loony, waiting for the madly suspenseful scene to pass. Again, uncool! Finally, it was 1AM and it was time to call Colorado.

And out flew my rooted plan to go to Colorado all this while. Spoke to the Director at the Admissions Office and found out too many shocking revelations that I was rendered speechless at first and couldn't muster any reaction whatsoever. Five seconds later, I thanked him, said goodbye, looked at my mother and tried not to crack my skull open on the wall next to me. A minute later, my mother and I were discussing about the huge rut I was -and still am- stuck in but came to no solution. We stared at each other a lot in silence; not knowing exactly what to do. She was filled with worry, and I was emptied out with a giant hole in my gut. Colorado was still possible, but it would require an extra year or two, a change of major and a whole lot of money dumped down the drainage pipe. Then it was 2AM. We called it a night.

Saturday: Got up early on a Saturday morning to head to breakfast with my best friend and two other dearly missed high school friends. When we were done, I drove my best friend home and bid her goodbye for the last time since we were heading to opposite sides of the world and might not be back home at the same time from now on. Our fourteen years of friendship to date has been nothing short of incredible. I honestly hope that neither America nor Australia would get close to shaking the friendship. Losing a best friend -though not literally- stings like nuts. And coupling that up with my thwarted university plan stings doubly worse. I drove home feeling more down than I've ever felt in a long time. At night, I had dinner with my whole family for the first time in two months. That, at least, made me feel better. My laptop is also now back and kicking since my brother worked his magic on it earlier today.

This week hasn't been one of the easiest. I went from being immensely pissed and outraged to completely upset and crushed to maddeningly fearful and lost in a matter of days...and sometimes hours. I am somewhat relieved that the the one-week holiday has arrived because I definitely could use a break. But knowing what's awaiting me after the Chinese New Year break is a bit of a mood-killer.

Other than the aforementioned aspects of my life, life has been pretty good -and I mean that sincerely because I am running low on sarcasm juice. Having family and friends who care is a major booster for my low spirits. And I thank God for them, among many other things.


Ikitron said...


andre said...


Olivia NLC said...

what? what about coloradoo? argghh i wanna talk to you in person abt unis againnnn wtf. happy cny justine!

Faiz said...

Oh noes.
I know we talked bout this bt still.
This post reminded me bout it all over.
Oh boy.
Lets talk.

Justine said...

Sorry guys...for the insanely late reply. :X

Ikhsan, *pats back* :D

Andre, *hops up and down* :)

Olivia, hehe, guess just have to wait and see what happens. Sorry I never got back to you here... =(

Faiz, sorry for the uber late reply. Hehe. Guess we have talked by now...right? :D