Ennui Killer

Questions are as follows:

1. How much do you spend on clothes per month?

2. Who is more important to you? Friends or boyfriend/girlfriend?
Well, the word ‘friend’ exists in both.

3. How often do you think about committing suicide?

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
I have a lot. Of diffidence.

5. How many babies do you want?

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?

7. What is your goal for this year?
To cross out at least one item in the list on the right panel of this blog.

8. What kept you of being who you are?
My insane mind.

9. What's a perfect girlfriend/boyfriend like to you? (List 10)
Someone who loves God, seeks to serve Him, puts Him first above all else, has an unending passion to worship Him, shines for Him in every way, gives Him glory with every triumph, praises Him through every affliction, steps back and allows Him to take control, loves reading and, well, uh, um, err, me.

10. What are you really afraid of?
Speaking in public and the attention it garners.

11. What are your bad habits?
Sarcasm and low memory span make up my worst habits.

12. Is there anything you want to tell the people who hate you?
I love my enemies. Or at least, I will try.

13. State a random fact about yourself.
I am not random.

14. What does flying mean to you?
Controlling an aircraft in the sky. And also, awesomeness.

15. What do you crave for most currently?
Poring over a good book.

16. Most unexpected gift you received so far and when?
Greeting card from an American author a while ago.

17. Describe the person who tagged you. Honestly.
A child of God who possesses a heart of gold.

18. What have you done to yourself that makes yourself happy?
Allowed myself to spend time reading even in the midst of chaos (Read: Assignments).

19. What will you become in another 10 years to come?
As seen in God’s eyes.

20. If you can choose how you want to end your life, how would it be?
By God’s will.

And since I can't remember the last time I chose to spread contagions such as this, I tag my cousin sister, friend, friend, friend and friend.


TV Torment

I honestly believe that my father would make a great tennis coach, sans the screaming and loud heaves. That being said, the Australian Open semifinal match tonight was unbelievably nervewracking for my father and me to watch. I'm glad we had to leave the house for a birthday dinner before my father and I could pound the TV into smithereens. After approximately five painstakingly long hours, the one we rooted for lost although it was a very close and tough fight. And now we dread watching the final match.


Unrandom Post

Personalized Pringles Can Canvas

I have never wanted to strangle the main character of a book as much as I wanted to today. Fortunately, I have now closed the chapter of that 10-book series. And I nearly got bludgeoned today because I almost regurgitated the two spoonfuls of bird's nest given to me. (Bird's nest costs a fortune.) But only almost. Because I wasn't used to the taste. My bad.


Distasteful Disclosure

Some things shouldn't be disclosed to an unstable and worn out 17-year-old like me. And what has been unloaded on me today has thrown me into a bit of a turmoil. I hate to admit it but I don't know what to do next though I will figure it out. Still. My weakness is insufferable.

In the meantime, I have been spending a substantial amount of time doing what I love best: reading. Therapeutic reading. And making a fool of myself. Same old, same old.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. -Proverbs 3:5-6


Raving Raw

My brother just about killed my appetite today when he started screaming from in front of the TV set that the loony man on TV was eating all sorts of animals -entirely raw. (I was never a fan of sushi to begin with.) He began by screeching, "Oh man! He is eating a sheep's eyeball!" And I responded like any normal human would and said, "Aiiee!"

And every two-minute intervals from then on, he gave me the lowdown on what was being shown on TV by replacing the words 'sheep eyeball' with 'snake', 'fluids from elephant dung', 'juice from a camel's insides' and 'zebra meat'.

If there was ever a day I would choose to become a vegetarian voluntarily, it would be today. But alas, I ate chicken for dinner.


Another Beginning

I haven't been a good ex-high school student. I say this because I forgot my English teacher's birthday. And she is not just any English teacher as I had been under her incredible tutelage for seven years. I have also not kept in contact with my high school teachers who I'd grown close to for the past two years. I suck. And I must do something about it. Soon.

In other news, today was the Chinese New Year and I attended a customary family reunion for lunch after church. I had a splendid time with my cousin brothers and brother; I only missed the company of my cousin sisters. I also saw one of my cousin brothers for the first time in...almost decade or so. He was shocked to see us all grown up and we were equally surprised to discover how much he has changed physically. I also had a lot of good laughs at the classic jokes my family usually cracks when we get together.

I have become a bit familial lately and am being hit by multiple waves of nostalgia daily. I don't know why that is but I hope that they are not signs of old age.

P/S: My brother has begun to play the guitar. And he has been showing off his ability to strum two chords so far. I will note his progress.



If there is such a thing as schoolsick, much like homesick, then I undoubtedly have it. I miss all things high school: the dedicated teachers, the phenomenal friends, the endless homework, the laborious exams, the grotesque washroom, the comfortable uniform, the squeaky school shoes, the peeling classroom wall, the mundane plants, the overcrowded canteen and the somniferous morning assemblies. Not only do I miss everything endearing about it, but I also miss everything dreadful about it. Aiyaya!

On a less despondent note, my family and I had lunch together and then spent some quality family time at the mall for the first time since year 2009 began. My brother and I can sometimes go for days, I repeat, days, without seeing each other at all even though we are living under the same roof what with him working and me studying in college. So today was a great day; definitely time spent well with the family.


Blog Back

Today was truly a day of revelations and inexplicable ironies. I am feeling a tad overwhelmed by what took place today; both in a good and bad way. And I think I may have lost the will to blog. Oy. So I shall blog about college -for the umpteenth time- to keep the blog juices flowing again.

There are already a few group assignments; one of which I completely dread as it involves drama and AIDS. And since I have such amazing and enviable acting chops (this is one of the reasons why I decided to pursue Engineering), I may be so into the character that I may lapse into epilepsy.

Sorry for being bitter. Clearly, I am taking quite a while to get adapted to college life. Although I am now experiencing mid-adolescence crisis, I am genuinely thankful that I have a week off from college in conjunction with the Chinese New Year. My week-long scattered thoughts need to be gathered.


First Impressions

MATH 171
This is my Calculus class. I like the thought of the subject more than the subject itself. The lecturer is formidable. This explains why I always almost have this persistent urge to shrink back in my seat whenever she draws close.

ENGL 101
It would be an understatement to say that English is my most favourite subject. However, I find the lecturer intimidating, threatening and a bit terrifying. Either that or I am a true wuss. Or both. And I am still getting adapted to the American English instead of the British English which I've grown accustomed to for...all my life; so far.

CHEM 105
My lecturer is hilarious beyond words. I truly enjoy Chemistry classes and get a kick out of listening to her endless accounts of back when she was in America. And thus far, I enjoy conducting the Chemistry experiments in a proper lab while donning proper lab attire.

ENGR 196
My Engineering lecturer never fails to have an amused look plastered on his face. I have yet to find out as to whether he is stern or the antithesis. But so far, I am having not too bad a time in his classes. I especially relish attending computer lab lessons for this subject. Nifty stuff.

PHIL 130
Philosophy is an euphemism for Moral Education. I am not liking this subject too much and have zero opinion about the lecturer and the classes. This is a compulsory subject for one semester and I am looking forward to (hopefully) ending this chapter successfully as soon as possible. And I have to concede that this class taps into the dormant aspects of my life.

I forgot to swallow when I drove atop the hill and tried my hand at parking just this evening. I hadn't eaten in 8 hours and just got up from my nap when my uber-punctual driving instructor arrived at my house. I am also not too fond of the first gear nor the energy-draining swinging of the wheel when maneuvering the car into the parking spot. Manual labour, is what I regard it as.


Live Blog

The last whole week flew by in a flash. I vividly remember two things which followed me throughout the week: assignments and sleep deprivation. However, amidst all that, I got the pleasant opportunity to catch up with my cousin sister, cousin brother and my bunch of ex-high school friends.

P/S: I am blogging live from college. Ha-ha.


How iTunes Turned Its Back on Me

The Rules:

1. Put your music player on with all your music, then shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense. NO CHEATING!
4. With the answers, give your own comments on how it relates to the questions.

The Results:

1. How are you feeling today?
Song: Start the Machine.
Comment: Yes, that is correct.

2. Will you get far in life?
Song: The Winner Takes It All
Comment: This is either against me or for me. I can't tell.

3. How do your friends see you?
Song: Dancing Queen
Comment: Untrue.

4. Will you get married?
Song: Do It For Me Now
Comment: No comment.

5. What is your best friend’s theme song?
Song: You Can
Comment: Incorrect. This is my theme song.

6. What is the story of your life?
Song: Honey Honey
Comment: I am beginning to think that my iTunes shuffle playlist is deliberately against me.

7. What was high school like?
Song: All For Love
Comment: As aforementioned.

8. How can you get ahead in life?
Song: The Gift
Comment: Spiritually, this hits the nail on the head.

9. What is the best thing about your friends?
Song: Happy Is A Yuppie Word
Comment: This is such a genius answer I have yet to figure out what it means.

10. What is in store for this weekend?
Song: Golden
Comment: Available only for three googilian dollars.

11. To describe your grandparents?
Song: Running
Comment: Huh?

12. How is your life going?
Song: You Found Me
Comment: Double huh?

13. What song will they play at your funeral?
Song: Better Than Life
Comment: How ironic. And befitting.

14. How does the world see you?
Song: I Have A Dream
Comment: I'm honoured.

15. Will you have a happy life?
Song: All That Matters
Comment: Agreed.

16. What do your friends really think of you?
Song: A Little Too Not Over You
Comment: Again, I'm honoured.

17. Do people secretly lust after you?
Song: Slipping Through My Fingers
Comment: Triple huh?

18. How can I make myself happy?
Song: Your Eyes Don't Lie
Comment: Oh boy.

19. What should you do with your life?
Song: Good Day
Comment: Good day to you, too.

20. Will you ever have children?
Song: When All Is Said And Done
Comment: Blatant irony.

21. What song would you strip to?
Song: 4 Letter Word
Comment: Unbelievable! No comment. At all.

22. If a man in a van offered you candy, what would you do?
Song: The Setting Sun
Comment: Yes, I would do that because it is a smart move.

23. What does your mum think of you?
Song: Full Moon
Comment: Quadruple huh?

24. What is your deep dark secret?
Song: Desperate
Comment: Well, cat's out of the bag. Woe is me.

25. What is your mortal enemy’s theme song?
Song: Come Holy Spirit
Comment: Really? Then my mortal enemy is now my best friend.

26. What’s your personality like?
Song: The Fatal Wound
Comment: Again, woe is me.

27. Which song will be played at your wedding?
Song: Don't Let Go
Comment: Oh, the irony.


Birthday Mom

I woke up this morning for my first driving lesson. We hit the highway first thing and it felt unbelievably exhilarating. I had to use the fifth gear and drove at 80km/h. I only got honked once and the car died once. Which is an improvement since the last time I drove. My next lesson is one week from today.

Besides today being a momentous day for me as a novice driver, it was also my mother's birthday. We went for a pleasant dinner at T.G.I. Friday's. Although it was her special day, my brother had to get a new jacket and I had to get shoes and formal wear for college use. We feel bad. Oy.


Things in my Life Today

Author Mail. From New York. Today. Home. Wow.

Inside said mail.

My very first author signature. I am at bliss.

They may look heavy but they are actually incredibly light. Really. You can help me carry them, too, if you want, because of its sheer lightness.

No comment.

Lab coat and goggles. I dig the goggles.


College Slam

After making the discovery of a lifetime that college is not as it seems in my head, I have been swamped with all things college -except for my driver's L license. And I have to rant before I evaporate into thin air.

My college textbooks weigh five tonnes. They are thick, heavy and thick. And heavy. I have only gotten three textbooks and my shoulder blades are about to rupture. I also have classes until 5PM for 3 out of 5 college days. So 4 hours of sleep every night + 11 hours in college + assignments and research + other common life predicaments + woes = lifeless Justine.

In lieu of all my newfound torture, I have reason to thank God. I am blessed with having met two truly incredible friends during the first day of college and have either one of them in all my classes. I am also thankful for being able to purchase the Calculus textbook before it ran out of stock. I am also at ease because transportation is not much of a problem for me. And the list goes on and on.

I hope it will get better and that I will adapt soon. Because suffice to say, I am in mental, physical and emotional pain right now.


The Ol' Gang

Yesterday, my cousin sister and I went to the mall with my parents. We both had the same mission. But it was unaccomplished. No biggie. There is always next time. Although we both walked until our legs were sore, I had a wonderful time with my cousin sister. It felt really nice to be with someone I am comfortable with and someone who shares the same college concerns as I do. And it felt really nice to spend quality cousin-time with her.

Today was my second day of college (orientation). I had the pleasant opportunity to catch up with a few of my high school friends who are studying at the main campus -I study at the American Degree Transfer Program (ADTP) building- and we all chatted over a nice cup of hot drink at the coffee shop nearby before orientation began. I felt right at home with them and had an excellent time in the company of good friends. I hope I get to do this more often because they are always dearly missed.

A very riotous and unbelievably insensitive lecturer gave us a lengthy oration on the American education system and all things vulgar. Although I wasn't too fond of the obscenities that seemed to fly out of his mouth every ten seconds, I had a fantastic time laughing at his brutal honesty until my tummy ached.

In a nutshell, today was better. Much better.


The First Two

First day of the year and I've attended both a birthday party and a funeral in the same day. Needless to say, the first day of the year was one exceptionally long day. The first half of the day was spent in merriment, joy and laughter while the second half of the day was filled with gloom, sorrow and grief.

Second day of the year and I've begun college. The new batch of students had to sit for an English Placement Test today. My writing was unbelievably illegible as I honestly hadn't held held a pen for over a month now. And I don't think I can count the number of times I recited, "I'm Justine...with an 'e' at the end. Yes, Justine." But all's well. I met some people who are really nice. And I also met some people who probably wouldn't want me within a ten-mile radius after today because I have this superpower to exude awkwardness effortlessly. My excitement to begin college has deflated a bit.

In other less-depressing-but-still-depressing news, the countdown to year 2009 was bittersweet to the power of two. It was sweet because I got to spend the last minute of year 2008 and first minute of year 2009 with my parents. It was bitter because my brother couldn't join us. It was sweet again because I got to witness some spectacular fireworks close-up for the first time. It was bitter because my brother ended year 2008 and began year 2009 on a really painful note. As my cousin sister has mentioned in her blog: When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.

I also recently found out that my church has a Facebook group as well as a website. Where have I been all these years? Under a rock, that's where. Anyway, the following was what I toiled so laboriously to create during the last hour of year 2008:

If you've already laughed and fell off the chair, you're going to howl with laughter when I say that this is the best artwork I've ever created.

Glad to have provided a good laugh. Cheers to Patrick Star.