A Sucky Pessimistic

I don't know what is coming over me. I am suddenly having a nagging doubt about passing my driver's test. I was reading a storybook about a girl who was the only junior who still hasn't passed her driver's test after she failed twice. Somehow, that notion seeped into my conscience and it isn't going away. Yes, I am fully aware that the storybook was a work of fiction. But it could happen to anyone. Say, me.

Though it is a year away from my driver's test, I have a strong intuition that I will fail it. The fact that my intuitions are right about 60% of the time isn't helping either. I keep visualising myself having no control of the wheel and either pressing on the gas too hard or the brakes too hard during my driver's test. And then I imagine myself walking to the bus for the rest of my life. Shudder.

I also started a short story today which I am positive that I am not going to be able to finish; as are my other stories -I'm not referring to school essays/assignments. And I know it will suck. I just know it will suck big-time. It's not like anyone's going to read it anyway so there's the comfort.

Man, I suck.

On a side note, my brother just helped me install OpenOffice which is similar to Microsoft Word. I haven't seen a proper Word window in such a really long time. I feel oddly exhilarated; like I just had a breath of fresh air. It feels good apart from the sucky part.


Danny said...

Yes, I know how it feels to not have ones license. I had to wait until I was 18 because I didn't take drivers ed (a requirement in WA to get your license before you turn 18) So basically all my other friends had their license, but not me. Just a couple months ago, I finally got it! Yahh. No more riding the bus. Your day will come, and I think everyone worries about failing the first time. Don't worry about it.

Justine said...

Thanks for the encouragement. Congratulations to you! I am eager to drive as are my peers. But thankfully, the driver's test is next year, not this year so I can still get over my sudden plaguing fears.